Writing prompts – Part 1

She did exactly what she told never to do. She compromised herself for a man.

She had gone more than 30 years being just herself. She had set firm boundaries from an early age of what she classified acceptable and reasonable treatment.

She had fell off the bandwagon once before but that time she had the excuse that she was young and stupid and didn’t really know the ropes. She had tasted love for the first time back then and it was incredible, almost too good to stomach until it wasn’t. It was a year of heaven on Earth, floating in a bubble of love, lust and contentment. The pin that popped that bubble was sharp enough to make her bleed.

The two years that followed were hell, a rollercoaster of low self esteem, the blame game and words that professed love but actions that caused fear, physical and mental hurt.

This wasn’t the same. The disrespect and hurt had never and would never come in the form of physical blows. They were mental shovels that dug away at her self esteem, knocked bricks from her boundaries and made her question her sense of self.

She sat in constant anxiety, that nibbles at your heart and gives you that gut sick feeling where you can never really rest.

He professed to be a man of his word. His first disloyal act caused her to compromise herself in a way she never believed she could. A hurt that cut so deep that her tears flowed for days and she had to pick up pieces of herself and attempt to rebuild.

A vital part was missing in the aftermath. It seems she left self respect on the floor amongst the debris. She believed in him still, in his words that went against his actions one too many times.

How many times would she allow the blatant disrespect to be soothed by his beautiful words, words that stripped away her common sense.

Would she continue to comprise herself until there was nothing left of her. Nothing left for him to hurt anymore. Her Achilles heel it seemed was a man. So she continued to do exactly what she was told never to do.


Lennon is 7

7 years have rolled around, I can’t quite believe it’s true

I have blinked and away those years have seemingly just flew

It’s been a year of many changes, a year in which you have shown

Just what an amazing boy you are and how much you have grown

I am so very proud of you for dealing with everything without so much as a tear

You face everything life throws at you without showing any fear

Your reading has come on leaps and bounds, you are so good at school

And when you battle people on fortnite you make them look a fool

Your an incredible little person which I have always known

But you have more steel than even I had realised and that is what you have shown

Your a fantastic friend, a polite little boy and people love to have you around

You still love your dancing, your singing, your moving to any kind of sound

Lennon you make me smile when nobody else quite can

I am your biggest cheerleader and your greatest fan

I love you more than words could say and more than you will ever know

I love watching you play and learn and everything you have to show

Your an amazing little boy, the pleasure is all mine

The way you look after Thea and make sure she is fine

Although you fuss and fight you really love each other

And your her biggest idol her fantastic big brother

Harder, better, faster, stronger baby! Love you happy birthday

Tinks is 2

Wow my darling your 2 years old, how fast the time has passed

I think the terrible two stage has definitely hit lets hope it doesn’t last

You have so much sass and so much attitude everyone would agree

And when you pull your crazy faces you look like Susan B

You love your gloves, and shoes and hats and love to dress up smart

You really are a beautiful little lady and your kisses come from the heart

You are lucky enough to have lots of friends with which to spend your day

You go on lots of mini adventures, both far and away

You love to sing along to baby shark, row row and twinkle star

You do your very best singing when you are riding in the car

Your hair is very crazy, blonde, curly and always in a mess

It’s honestly a nightmare to try and control mummy will readily confess

My stocky little monster you are built for very great things

Mummy’s little tinks you will surely spread your wings

God help anyone who crosses you or gets in your way

Let’s hope that strong willed attitude is here to stay

I am so very proud of you and that much is true

How you love your brother Lella and how you always just do you

Your really very special and everyone knows the score

Thank god there’s only one of you – the world couldn’t deal with anymore

Happy second birthday sweetheart! I love you all the world mummy x x

Lenny is 6!

So here it is – in preparation for tomorrow!

I look at you in wonder because before my very eyes

You turned into a six year old – wow what a great surprise

The years they seem to just fly past and what a joy it is

To watch how good a big brother you are to your little sis

This year we are celebrating your birthday quite low key

Well let’s be honest last year was massive with kids times 50

This year it’s all about nearest and dearest and bouncing around

No doubt one thing not low key will be the amount of sound

One thing never changes boy and that’s how loud you are

Whether playing with your figures or singing in the car

Your voice only has one volume and that’s very very loud

That voice just gets louder when we are in a crowd

Your very very funny and never fail to make us laugh

Your little comments, calling us “mate” and “your having a giraffe”

Your favourite rapper is Eminem, we are all in stitches

When you try to rap along with his music there are many glitches

You still love your music and breakdancing is your style

We are constantly refusing to let you watch dead pool and 8 mile

You think your very grown up and never do anything wrong

Anecdotes and crazy stories trip right off of your tongue

You have lots of friends and are a leader we’ve been told

When they made you, my wingman, they really broke the mould

Team Caress are the lucky ones we get to see you grow

If you continue like you are – oh the places you will go!

Love you to the moon and back, very very proud of you every single day – happy 6th birthday x

Thea is 1 

It’s the eve of your birthday and one thing is clear

Team Caress have had an incredible year

Your arrival was shocking, the talk of the town

A story I am sure you will never live down

It’s been a year of many firsts, laughter, fun and smiles

The housewives of Heanor have talked and walked for miles and miles

There’s been many grow days, swimming and playgroup hooray

Then there’s brew at 2 nearly every single day

You have been so lucky all the friends that you have made

All those lovely babies with which you have played

Karson, Lyle, Charlie, Matthew, Sophie and Mila too

Not forgetting the big children who have enjoyed looking after you

This year has passed in such a blur it really is untrue
I have never met a baby with a personality like you

Your faces are legendary, ooohhh I couldn’t be so rude

And the way you give your dirty looks when you are in a mood

Your dancing is the best young lady, how you drop it low

We love your singing “la, la, la” when you put on a show

We call you the carb queen, little toot or baby tink

You are a massive climber, so much braver than we think

You remind us of Doc Brown with your crazy crazy hair

Your beautiful blue eyes always cause a stir

We love you baby princess, can’t believe a year has passed

Our fourth team member, team caress are complete at last

We love you Tinks to the moon and back – love Mummy, Daddy, Lennon and Brodie Dog

5 already!!!

So here it is – in advance of tomorrow. Lenny isn’t well so I knew I wouldn’t get any time to write anything tomorrow and didn’t want to miss what has become a tradition. x


So Mummy writes this little poem just like she does for you every year

There is no pressure then on me and no reason to feel fear

But as I start to write this year I feel a sense of dread

The years are flying past you see too fast for my head


I can’t believe five years have gone its been a whirlwind time

This is the fifth time I have blown up balloons and my fifth one of these rhymes

You have changed so much this year and it gives mummy happy tears

You have settled in at school so well despite all mummy’s fears


You have made a lovely bunch of friends and you are coming on so well

Your reading and writing are getting fantastic as your teachers tell

You are now a fantastic big brother to your sister little toot

You get on like a house on fire and you always make her hoot


You hold her really gently just as mummy’s tells you to

The only person who can make her belly laugh is you

I really don’t know how I would have managed with you, my helpful little man

Mummy’s wingman, but much more grown up, and I am your biggest fan


You never fail to amuse me, you really have a sense of humour

And apparently you have yourself a girlfriend and I know its not a rumour

You have picked a lovely girl that you are all set to make your wife

Lets hope that beautiful little Maisy doesn’t cause you strife


I love your little ways and the crazy way you play so well

Your imagination blows me away, much too complex to tell

I am so very very proud of you, every single day

Happy Birthday my little 5 year old is all that remains to say


Happy Birthday beautiful. Love you to the moon and back always. Sorry you are poorly on your birthday and I hope you feel much better soon x x







2016 A Fantastic Year

I sit here typing with Thea lying on the floor kicking around and Lenny busy playing on his Ipad. I make this somewhat pointless statement because it leads directly to one of my New Years Resolutions – I will feel less guilty. I have realised that I spend far too much time feeling guilty for spending too much/too little time with certain people (mostly the kids), and that I am always worrying that they are not happy. This year I am going to give myself a break and live in the moment more.

On reflection 2016 has been a stunner of a year. The year kicked off with us finding out that we were expecting a baby girl. Whilst it took Lenny almost an entire day to get over it, he wanted a brother, we were all (eventually) ecstatic. We spent the next four months agonising over names and buying stunning outfits – too many for her ever to wear.

This news was followed swiftly in February by my sisters announcement that she was also pregnant. My sister has a little boy already and there is 7 months separate Lenny and my nephew, there would now be 4 months separating our second born. This made pregnancy all the more exciting being able to share it with my sister and knowing that my little girl would have a little cousin to grow up with just like her brother before her.

I had the most beautiful baby shower/30th birthday bash with my wonderful lady friends. (Thank you to those friends who have remained close in 2016 you know who you are and you know how much I love you). It was the most uncivilised afternoon tea I have ever attended and it was just perfect. My mum and Auntie reformed their childhood Abba tribute and sang my guests a few songs. My 30th birthday was amazing and I was spoilt to death, albeit I was very heavily pregnant and, it being the summer, had the most disgusting elephant feet you have ever seen.

The summer holidays saw me become closer with a bunch of school mums (East 17). I don’t honestly know how I made it all this way in my life without them. They keep me sane and I am hoping our nights out together long continue along with our coffee mornings.

June was just perfect with my little girl arriving to complete my family. Her arrival was much anticipated and was absolutely mental, after she arrived in the GP’s toilets rather unexpectedly. Out of that arose a friendship with the midwife who delivered her that I hope continues into 2017 and beyond.

September saw Lenny start Reception. He has done absolutely amazing. It was such a crazy time for him with a new sister having just arrived and starting full time school. I spent the whole night before crying and concerned thinking he just wanted ready but I had completely underestimated him. He took it all in his stride bless him and hasn’t once refused to go – in fact he loves it – and he is coming along very nicely.

In October my nephew arrived and he is stunning. He is such a beautiful little addition to the family. The aftermath of the birth was traumatic and made me look on my sister with completely different eyes – she is so much braver than I ever gave her credit for and I am so so proud of her.

Lenny is an amazing big brother to his Little Toot and a fantastic cousin. I have really seen him grow this year and become more independent and so very caring towards his little sister. He has never once wished she wasn’t here and absolutely adores her. Thank you for being you – mummy’s little wingman forever.

Thea completes us even though we didn’t realise a piece was missing. She is incredible. She is funny and happy and so content. Thank you for sleeping through for mummy and daddy baby you have been marvellous.

As for me and Scott well, as I said last year, we are too solid for simple things to shake us. Scott has been amazing – supportive throughout my crazy birth and an amazing daddy. The bond that he has already formed with his little girl is beautiful to watch. Together we have become stronger and, despite having fell out of favour with a few people this year, we are better than ever and long may it continue. I love you Mr C and I always will.

2017 we are coming for you.



Lenny does school Christmas Disco

Thought it was worth blogging the conversation between Len and his Dad before he left for the Christmas Disco….

Len: If somebody starts looking at me and comes over to me and wants to dance with me because I look cool or something – that’s how it works.
Scott: What if you look for the girl that you like and ask them to dance?
Len didn’t have a response but needless to say with this outfit who wouldn’t think he looks cool 😂

The Birth Story – Second Time Around

So I know its taken a while to get around to posting this blog – the world is crazy with two kids but I will save that for another post.

We welcomed our new baby girl Thea Shay into the world on 29th June 2016. She was 2 days overdue and weighed in at 7lb 1.5oz. The birth story has proved to be very popular and much discussed and many people have asked when its going to appear on this blog – so here it is from the horse’s mouth so to speak.

In the weeks leading up to my due date I had been experienced really bad braxton hicks. On a few occasions they had kept me awake and had been so regular I swore I would be going into hospital and then they would just disappear. So when I woke up on 29th June, 2 days overdue and with my sweep booked for 2pm that day, with mild period pains I thought nothing of it.

I was getting a few pains all day but nothing much and not painful so, although I was timing them and they did seem to be regular, I had presumed they would just disappear like they had previously. Lenny finished pre-school at 11.45pm and it was raining so I had to run down to school to fetch him. At this point I was still getting pains but they clearly weren’t painful if I ran the school run.

My husband was between jobs at work so had decided to come home for a few hours to come to the sweep with me. By 1.30pm I was getting proper pains and this is probably the first time that I knew I was in labour – at this point though they weren’t bad and I believed that I would be at this hours. However, the app i had downloaded to track my contractions kept insisting that because they were coming with certain regularity I should ring the hospital. I rang the hospital at 1.30pm and they said that I wasn’t i established labour as I was able to talk through contractions and that I should have a hot bath and some paracetomol. I decided to go to see the midwife for my sweep at 2pm in the hope that this would speed things up and put me into proper labour.

We arrived in the car park of the doctors at around 1.55pm and I had quite a bad pain in the car but it can’t have been really bad because my husband was asking me how much the car park charge was whilst I was mid-contraction. (Idiot!). At this point I did say to my husband that I was defiantly getting somewhere and I would definitely be having the baby that day. I asked him to get the TENS machine out the back of the car (my hospital bag had been situated there since my due date which was wishful thinking on my part) and get this set up for after I came out from my sweep.

I got into the doctors waiting room and had quite a serious pain. The pain was accompanied by a gushing feeling and I told my husband that I needed to pop to the toilet and check things out. When I got into the toilet I realised I was bleeding quite bad. For some reason I rung my sister (who lives in Nottingham and really couldnt have been much help) and she told me to ring my husband to get the midwife. As soon as I got off the phone to my sister my contractions started coming thick and fast and were unbearable.

I managed to get hold of my husband and asked him to get the midwife and thought I needed to unlock the disabled toilet door. From there things went crazy. My midwife documents that at 2.10pm she was called out of surgery by Scott to say i was in the toilets having contractions. I think it was clear to the midwife, if not to me, that things were progressing very quickly and she rung an ambulance within a few minutes of coming into the toilet.

My midwife was absolutely fantastic and was the same midwife that had attended me throughout my pregnancy. When she checked me at 2.28pm I was fully dilated and she said to me that we would not have time to wait for an ambulance and that I needed to push on the next contraction. I really really didn’t want to have a baby in the toilets, as you can imagine, and I really really wanted some pain relief but there wasn’t any time and my little girl was born into the world at 2.37pm. The ambulance didn’t arrive until 2.55pm and the midwife sent them away by this point there was no need for them.

The midwife passed Thea up to me and she was attached to the placenta for some time whilst we were waiting for a cord clamp. Thea was wrapped in mine and my husbands jumpers as there wasn’t much else available.

I delivered the placenta naturally a little while later and left the doctors with my perfect little baby at 3.44pm and came straight home. As I was leaving the doctors the staff were cheering and blowing kisses out of the window and it was such an incredible and surreal moment it will stay with me forever. Needless to say Thea is quite the little VIP at the doctors surgery now.

Everyone who has heard this story asks me if it was really traumatic. The answer is no. The whole experience was incredible. I was so very lucky that the support team of my midwife and my husband was faultless. Throughout the whole experience they were both dead calm and reassuring and there was not a single moment of panic (from them) which meant that I stayed calm. My midwife knew instinctively what I needed and when and I could not have done it without her. I have heard often that the midwife you get in labour can dramatically change your birth experience and after this I would agree with this whole heartedly.

I am lucky enough to have remained friends with my midwife and I am hoping that this continues far into the future. She is considered a hero in my family and always will be.

If nothing else this will be a fantastic little story to tell Thea when she is older and I dare say we will be telling this story for years to come.

Welcome to the World *Little Toot*

And so its time, its here at last, its finally come around

You are here snuggled in Mummy’s arms, sleeping safe and sound

Although you kept me waiting two days past when you were due

You took us all quite by surprise arriving in the doctor’s loo


Luckily we had a fantastic team, an amazing team of two

Emma delivered you safely and daddy coached me through

Just 37 minutes from when we got into the waiting room

You came in to the world at 2.37pm arriving with a zoom


What a story, a tale to tell, you will never live it down

A legend at the doctor’s surgery and the talk of the whole town

But wow what a beauty you really are with features like a doll

Clearly your crazy entry didn’t take its toll


Your big brother couldn’t wait to meet you, he held you straight away

His first words were “she’s beautiful” and he stared at you all day

We spent a precious hour, Team Caress, as just us four

Fully assembled, now complete, and with you at our core


Your first week was just crazy, with a queue so very long

Of people eager to meet you with lots of love to make you strong

You have presents coming out your ears,  you are a lucky girl

Can’t wait to see you in your dresses giving us a twirl


You already know just how to get around your silly daddy

Chief picker-upper mummy calls him, Lennon calls him baddy

You really have completed us, our beautiful little baby

You get excited by Mr Light and kick your legs like crazy



Now we are the lucky ones, we get to see you grow

And we all love you so much more than you could ever know


** Little Toot is the nickname Lenny thought up for his little sister all by himself and its so cute its stuck!