I was having a fairly recent conversation with a friend. She was astounded by the amount of friends me and Lenny saw on any given day. Her words were “I would rather have a few close friends than lots of friends that aren’t good friends”. This got me thinking can you have both quantity and quality when it comes to friends.
I am lucky enough to have a lot of friends and I consider the majority quality friends, each bringing their own qualities to our friendships and each bringing incredible things to Lenny’s life as well as my own.
The Golden Oldie
This is a friend which I have had since school. The friend that makes me feel like I am a child again. We have our own language that nobody else understands and we also share a talent for coming out with the most stupid things our other friends have ever heard (everyone will remember the reindeer story!!!!). Our friendship isn’t based on deep dark truths but the lighter side of life. She isn’t a friend I see week in week out, nor does she see Lenny religiously each week but when we do see her she lightens up the whole mood. She makes us both smile and she was the first person to belly laugh at Lenny dropping his play-doh into his poo and fishing it out with his hands.
This friend is just like me. Brutally honest and will tell you exactly what she thinks. If you don’t want an honest answer then you don’t ask her anything. My favourite moment was when I recently asked her about a name I really liked should I ever decide to venture into the world of parenthood to a second child (very unlikely – have you met Lenny!!!!), her response was “well thats foul!”. Well I did ask. This is also the friend that constantly reminds me that despite the fact he punches other children at play centres (not usually without provocation I might add) and jumps off of every single piece of furniture more than 1 metre off the ground, he is just a boy and does not have some sort of attention span disorder.
This friend is so innocent, sweet and good natured. From the outside people would wonder what on earth we have in common as she is completely my opposite. Somehow the gap between our personalities come together and I spend every day hoping that some of that sweet innocence rubs off on me. This is the friend that will toil for hours on end to make sure that Lenny has a super hero back drop for his birthday photos. Thats commitment for you.
My safety blanket. Nobody in this world makes me laugh so hard and for so long. I can reveal my deepest darkest thoughts to this person without so much as a raised eyebrow. She knows instinctively if I need to laugh or cry and is Lenny’s funniest of Aunties. The beauty is Lenny doesn’t quite know how to take her so if she tells him off even a little its very effective! He never misbehaves there.
Blast from the Past
These are those friends that have been in your life, left and come back. I have a few of these. This category of friends seem to also come under the heading “being mummies made us”. Now we are mummies (or daddies) we have become close again and it makes you wonder how you ever managed without them in the gap. These people provide playmates for Lenny and company for us both. They share long summer days in the park and hot chocolate by a warm fire in winter. They also bring their children round so they can distract Lenny whilst I have a cup of tea in relative peace.
Some people have said that becoming a mother is isolating but I have been lucky to never feel isolated to always have plenty of people ready to answer questions on the colour of Lenny’s poo within two minutes of a middle of the night text.
Family by birth, friends by choice
These are my family. People I have grown up with. I have always shared a strong family bond with these people and I have grown up with them alongside me. We have shared holidays, laughter and tears. They each have their own quirks but I deal with them and I am happy that now Lenny will grow up alongside their children and they will make new memories together like we have all these years.
So you see my conclusion is that I have both a lot of friends and they are all quality friends. These are the women and men that I choose to surround myself and Lenny with. Sometimes it is a juggle to give everyone the time they deserve but each one understands because they all love me and appreciate my qualities to -well I like to think they do!.